LOCKDOWN AND THE ALPHA MALE
…So we have been in this mess for weeks now and the cracks are starting to show.
“Let’s go back to Nature!“
At first it wasn’t too bad and we all found something positive to say and “look! No more pollution! The fish are back in the canals in Venice for the first time, it’s a miracle!” “So many bees and butterflies around!” “yay, Nature is taking over again! We can bake our own bread and knit our own underwear!”
That idyllic view didn’t last long, did it?
Reality sinks in…
Now we are all desperate for a decent haircut and a good night out. Our kids are getting seriously addicted to computer games and You tube videos and we are past caring; parents are drinking more alcohol than ever “to take the edge off”, but the male of the species is the one who deserves our attention most.
What’s going on?
Gender stereotype warning: I am going to be really sexist here and generalise like mad, just so you know! But here is the thing:
lately, I have noticed quite a few “cries for help” on facebook posts about depressed husbands, men at a loose end either following their wives like puppies around the house, trying to find something useful to do; getting anxious, easily irritated, hypochondriac, not being able to sleep…
It’s bad enough if they are working from home, but if the job is no longer there, it’s a lot worse and not just for the obvious financial reasons.
The bubble bursts
In our society, even in the 21st century, many men still identify themselves with their job or career. The question “What do you do” is always the first one after you introduce yourself. It doesn’t matter if a man is married and has ten children under the age of five, the assumption is still that work comes first. If you are a woman, on the other hand, people still ask you what you do for a living, followed closely by questions about your marital status and whether you are a mother or not. Yes, it’s annoying, but if you think about it, it is an advantage now: even if we have lost a job in this crisis, we have always had more than one responsability: home, kids, pets, relatives, friends. There is always something or someone to look after. We are too busy to mope around.
The man who was managing a team of twenty people, giving orders over the phone, taking quick decisions under pressure, firing emails and employees, suddenly is at home trying to figure out how to switch the kettle on. If he wasn’t spending a lot of time at home before, now he is forced to be indoors almost all day and find something else that makes him feel useful and “necessary”, as he no longer fits the role of provider, hunter-gatherer.
If a couple doesn’t talk about the effects of this shift in the relationship and the man bottles up his emotions (as men are prone to do, yes, more generalisation, sorry!), the emotions will burst out at inappropriate times: outbursts of anger, anxiety, insomnia, whining and so on.
Homeopathy to the rescue!
These are only a few of the remedies that might help with symptoms of depression, anger, anxiety and claustrophobia:
Aurum Metallicum: ambitious and generally successful; failure is not an option and it can plunge you into a deep depression. Responsability is a key word for someone who needs this remedy. Anger at himself, sense of failure can find expression in insomnia, nightmares about falling from a height; anger or sudden GI symptoms.
Nux Vomica: similar to Aurum in the ambition level, but more perfectionist, prone to irritability already on a good day; addictive tendencies (workaholics) but also dependent on coffee and wine or spices to keep awake or chill out. There is no depression, more venting to the unlucky by-stander.
Arsenicum: this is a hypochondriac remedy, so all this talk of pandemic and germs and viruses will send a constitutional Arsenicum over the edge!
Gelsenium: this is usually a great remedy for anticipatory anxiety or fever. In both cases you can have shaking and trembling as symptom. It’s about fear of the unknown and the feeling of not being in control.
Tarantula: feeling of being trapped and fear of being trapped, claustrophobia. Tarantula is extremely gregarious and lively, needs space and both are denied right now, which can make the person extremely angry and fearful at the same time.